Every parent of a college-bound student eventually asks this question: how many extracurriculars does my kid need?
And it might surprise you to learn that there is no benchmark. The quantity is less important than the quality.
For example, we just got incredible news from one of our students. So far, Matthew has gotten into every single school he applied to. Even though his scores and GPA were not quite what these schools were looking for. And even though he only had one noteworthy extracurricular on his resume.
But none of that mattered, because Matthew took a holistic approach.
He didn’t focus on correcting his weaknesses.
Instead, he stood out for his strengths.
Quality Over Quantity: Why One Extracurricular Was So Meaningful
When we started with Matthew during his sophomore year, we could tell he was a bright kid. He just wasn’t particularly driven in either academics or extracurriculars, which is perfectly normal and common.
After some time, we found out there was more going on beneath the surface. (And there always is.) Matthew had lost his father during the pandemic, and had been a bit shut down ever since.
He started to open back up by doing just one thing every weekend: volunteering to work with horses on a nearby ranch. Other than that, he spent most of his free time at home. And there was nothing wrong with that. We focused on getting his grades consistent, building his confidence and his sense of purpose.
Most people wouldn’t have seen a difference, but to his mom, the changes in Matthew were undeniable.
How Finding Right-Fit Colleges Unlocks Motivation
It took a lot of self-discovery for Matthew to find his dream school.
But once he had one, he became even more motivated. The application process brought him even more out of his shell. We worked with him on building a balanced list of similar schools, and creating an application strategy that presented him as a whole person.
The essays were the most important pieces of the puzzle.
Most kids see their lives as “ordinary” — nothing worth writing about. Matthew was no different. But through guided self-reflection he came to see who he had become over the course of his adolescence, and find genuine ways to share that with his choice schools.
What Makes an Application Stand Out (Regardless of Grades, Scores or Resume)
Matthew’s applications stood out for 3 main reasons:
- He showed growth and maturity. Kids never need to have a “sob story” to stand out. Sometimes, their more difficult experiences are authentic to who they are becoming, and what wisdom they have to share. That was the case for Matthew.
- He had a clear “why” behind his choices. He didn’t need a dozen extracurriculars — his singular passion for working with horses said more than enough. He understood the value it brought to his life, and what it meant about his gifts and character.
- His transcripts showed improvement and consistency. Colleges don’t just look at the numbers — they look at the trajectory. Matthew’s steady turnaround followed by reliably good grades showed he’d built the habits he needed to succeed in college.
Why We Recommend Starting in Sophomore Year
Matthew’s story is a great example of why we recommend starting the college process in the spring of sophomore year — whether a student is struggling or at the top of their class.
Many parents think it’s too early. And yes, 10th graders are too immature to figure out their whole life. But that’s not what the process requires. They just need to take small, strategic steps that plant the seeds for authentic growth — so junior year doesn’t feel like a scramble.
Here are 3 steps every student should explore before the end of 10th grade:
Step 1. Start Looking into Testing
The sooner you find out whether the ACT, SAT, or going test-optional is going to be the best fit for your student, the better. Many test-optional schools are still quite competitive when it comes to scores, and many schools are test-blind — meaning they won’t even look at a score.
That’s why 10th grade is the time to gather data and protect your options.
Students should research what scores their potential schools are looking for, and take diagnostic tests to see how they do and which format suits them best. That way, they can study at a manageable pace and have the best chance of hitting their target scores.
Step 2. Plan Summer and Extracurriculars Around Authentic Interests
We never recommend filling your schedule with stuff that looks impressive, colleges see right through that. That’s why finding out what your kid is genuinely interested in — and encouraging them to explore those interests — is really important at this stage.
If they begin to develop a clear sense-of-self now, decisions and applications are going to be easier down the line. Summer after 10th grade is a great opportunity for this: students can try out internships, pre-college programs, volunteering, and jobs. The same goes for extracurriculars during the school year.
Step 3. Start Exploring College Preferences
Students should start to familiarize themselves with the idea that they’ll be making college lists soon. Take them to local schools just to get a feel for their preferred campus. Ask them what they’d envision out of a college experience. Location? Size? Culture?
These experiences and conversations can help them build self-awareness now, so when it’s time to actually build their list in junior year, they’re not just pulling names out of a hat, but choosing right-fit schools that motivate them.
Need More Help Getting Started?
This kind of work can be really hard to do with your own kid.
There’s just… baggage. Teenagers may want to please you — or push against you. They may feel boxed in by what you already know about them. And often, there’s anxiety being projected in both directions.
But we’ve seen even the most avoidant, overwhelmed teens get engaged in the college process thanks to skillful coaching.
When you bring in a trusted mentor, your teen can explore who they are without worrying about having the “right” answer or disappointing you. So if you want to get your 10th grader started on this process without the tension — and without turning your relationship into a battle over college planning — we can help.
Book a free consultation and let’s talk about where your student is now, what they need, and how we can support them in taking these first steps with clarity and confidence (not overwhelm).
