Lily has all the stats to get into Cornell:
The SAT score. The GPA. The AP classes.
Her parents made sure of it. They credit Cornell for their own success and insist that their daughter should go there too.
Lily meanwhile, genuinely wants to make her parents proud. So she’s put in the work. Kept her grades up. Diligently filled out her Cornell application and revised it several times.
And yet, when I send that application to our board of former admissions officers for review, they confirm my own conclusion:
After all that work, Lily is unlikely to make the cut.
Why?
Her essays about why she wants to go to Cornell just aren’t as sophisticated as they need to be. Sure, she’s demonstrated strong writing skills; highlighted moments of leadership and achievement. But she’s not speaking authentically about what she really wants, so she comes across as flat. Two-dimensional. Forgettable.
And this is the issue with the Transactional Model for college admissions that so many parents are stuck on. All they see is numbers: the school’s rank and reputation. The points on their child’s transcript. We just need to maximize those points, add an impressive heaping of activities, and stir.
Unfortunately, this old-school recipe no longer holds up.
Selective schools receive thousands upon thousands of applications each year. They don’t just choose the ones with the highest numbers or the most impressive achievements. They look for the rare students who come alive when they talk about their interests and pursuits. Who will contribute to a campus community of people who share similar values and truly want to be there — for the right reasons.
And what I know for sure after working with hundreds of students over the years is you can’t manufacture that kind of authentic connection.
You can, however, create conditions for authenticity to emerge.
And you find those conditions when you build your college list.
Most consultants gloss over this step. At Signet, it’s a rigorous, intentional process. Up to 75% of our time is spent getting the list right (and 95% of our students end up at a top choice school).
Our process results in a list as unique as the student. That way, your kid isn’t pitted against all the other smart kids in their class, vying for limited spots at the usual colleges. When they find those authentic match schools, they stand out naturally. And the entire application process flows much more smoothly.
In the end, that’s what happens for Lily.
I helped her quiet all the external voices saying: “This is where you have to go to college. This is what this college wants to hear from you. This is what your parents want you to write.” Without all that noise drowning out her instincts, she could finally admit what she really wanted, and say what she really had to say.
Ironically, once she let go of the pressure to get in at all costs, Lily’s Cornell application improved.
More importantly, she let herself get excited about some of the other schools we found for her. The essays she wrote for those colleges were even more enthusiastic, thoughtful, and unique.
While I still don’t see her winding up at Cornell (even if she is accepted), I have no doubt Lily is going to be very happy on one of those campuses next year, and that any one of them will make an excellent foundation for her career.
As for Lily’s parents, it’s a bummer to let go of their legacy dream. But they’re coming around. They see how making her own, authentic choices now is the best preparation for Lily’s future.
And as I told them, there is no one school that can guarantee a student’s success.
The world out there is competitive, but being the best is no longer the bargaining chip it once was.
Young people today are better off learning to leverage their authentic strengths and interests so they can find the communities and industries that value who they are.
Which is so much more than just the numbers.
***
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